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Nobody waves. Everybody waves back.

“Nobody waves—but everybody waves back.”

Reading this quote, I was struck by what a great example of karma it is. Your karma is your state of mind, which reflects the way you react to people and situations in life. In this case, if you are friendly to the world, the world is friendly to you. After reading this, I started waving to everyone on my dog walks, and absolutely everyone smiles and waves back. We go from strangers immersed in our own worlds, to humans connecting briefly through a wave and a smile. It’s a small thing, but it feels amazing.

I read this quote by Nicolas Epley, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business in Jessica Pan’s Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes. Here’s the full quote:

“A few years ago, I was driving through a remote part of Ethiopia, and I kept passing all these mothers and children outside of their mud huts. Everybody I passed stared at me like I was dead: totally blank facial expressions. It was the most uncomfortable I'd ever felt in my life.

“But then it occurred to me, while I was sitting there: I was looking at them in exactly the same way they’re looking at me. So I started smiling and waving as I went by—and it was like I flipped a switch. As soon as I started smiling, waving, and looking friendly, they started waving from their windows, grinning at me, and running out of their houses to give me high fives.

“That’s the truth of the world, Jessica,” he says, casually full-naming me to let me know something big is coming. “Nobody waves—but everybody waves back.”

Sara is the author of How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. © 2026 Sara Weston. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

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Stories of Contemporary Enlightened Women

Dharma Sisters: Stories of Awakening Five women discuss their journey to initial awakening and from there to embodied enlightenment. What’s striking and heartening is how different the journey is for each woman. It’s an incredibly high book and highly recommended for those who’ve been on the path for a while and are ready to “get ‘er done”! I’m an interviewee in this book under my spiritual name, Saraswati.

Ordinary Women Extraordinary Wisdom This is another book of interviews with modern awakened women. They are from the lineages of Adyashanti, Papaji and Eckhart Tolle, and though the interviewees are at different levels of awakening, I found them all fascinating. I gobbled this book up!

Daughters of the Goddess: The Women Saints of India This gem was published in 1994 and is now out of print (though lots of used copies are available), and I wish I had found it earlier. Fascinating to read about these women, most of whom I’d never heard of before, with a few now living in the U.S. and providing free weekly online meditations.

In a different league altogether is Mother Meera. She’s an incarnation of the Divine Mother, and you can unbelievably receive her darshan live every day on YouTube! Highly recommend everyone check out her daily meditation at least once! Mother Meera is famously available to everyone. She doesn’t care what faith you are, nor does she want you to change your practice or allegiance. Her darshans and meditations are always free.

Sara is the author of How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. © 2024 Sara Weston. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

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Getting Your Focus Back

Several people recently mentioned to me that they’re having a hard time focusing, and I too have noticed that it’s taking more will to stay focused than it used to. I suspect this is affecting a lot of us, so I thought I’d share a few steps that can help you get your focus back.

  1. Make a conscious decision to focus. When you want to unnecessarily reach for your phone, look at a website, click on a link, grab a snack, or any other activity that takes you away from what you’re trying to do, instead make a decision to not do it. When we have a conscious intent to not let our focus be scattered, it’s easier to stop behaviors that scatter our attention.

  2. Meditate correctly. Don’t space out and don’t think about other people. When you space out while you’re meditating, you are training your mind to space out! Also when you space out, you go to dimensions that aren’t clear and make clarity and focus harder.

    When you think about other people when you meditate, you bring their energy into your aura. And you do not want other people’s thoughts, attitudes, and approaches in your mind! There are societal grooves you want to protect your mind from, and being scattered is one of them! You don’t want to align with the groove of phone scrolling, link clicking, and endless YouTube watching.

  3. Get out of town regularly. When we work and sleep in the same place, we get enmeshed in the astral networks of our neighborhood, town, and work place, and get connected to their associated thoughts, worries, and addictions. Traveling out of the network breaks our connection to them. You need to get at least 100 miles away to feel the difference. 

    I’ve certainly felt the release of breaking these bubbles by getting out of town, but it was even more dramatic to watch it happen with some of my old students. One gal in particular was in such a funk, certain that nothing would ever work out again or be bright, and as we drove away and got about 100 miles away, it was like a bubble popped and she was happy and everything was just fine. She couldn’t believe how different she felt!

  4. As a habit, unsubscribe from emails and remove apps from your phone, as needed. My story goes like this: I first removed Instagram. I was only following a few cool, high vibe accounts. There was no problem with the content, however I began to notice that I wanted to check it multiple times a day, so uninstall. Then later, same thing with the NY Times app. Not that I ever checked the news, but I loved the culture stuff, Social Qs, the Ethicist, Modern Love, etc, etc. Woof – uninstall. Then Substack. Argh. So many interesting newsletters! I found myself at work during the day wanting to check my personal email to see if there were any new email newsletters—totally interrupting my focus! Once again, unsubscribe, unsubscribe, whittle it down to a smaller set.

    I’m sure the things that sap your focus are different than mine, but the groove at this time is the same. There’s endless content to consume, and bringing your attention to it keeps you from being focused and doing what is important to you.

  5. Focus on high stuff. There’s so much fun and interesting content that is not high. Be honest with yourself about how what you are consuming is impacting you. You’re going to feel more mundane and less clear when you consume a lot of human-vibe content.

  6. Utilize to-do lists. I keep a work to-do list and a personal to-do list. Both track all the large and small things I need to do. In the morning at work, I prioritize what I need to do that day, and I reference it throughout the day. Sometimes there are so many distractions from chat, email and meetings, I forget what I should be working on, even if I looked at the list an hour before.

    I also create mini to-do lists when I want to punch through a lot of stuff quickly. I write down several small tasks that I want to do, for instance during lunch, and then punch through them quickly one after the other. (For example, call the vet, make a haircut appointment, check on the return from a vendor, change air filter.) Similarly, on the weekend, I create a short list pulled from my bigger list, of what I want to get done. For example, this weekend I prioritized doing a write-up on Focus. 😀
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Trust Your Self

> Today’s guest post is written by a beloved friend and great yogini, Ishvari.

“Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

How do you know you’re making the right decision? Within each of us is a heart that does not alter with the seasons or across the years. It has a deep wisdom—a knowledge beyond common reasoning or sense. The heart knows. 

But sometimes it is difficult to hear your own heart, your true self. It gets drowned out by fears, desires, pride, cultural norms, and personal histories. Our ideas about good and bad, societal standards around wealth and status, and even our sense of personality can get in the way of making the best decision, or of taking the correct path in that moment. So how can you hear your heart in the midst of all of this noise?

The first step, as always, is to meditate. When the mind is quiet, the heart is available. (It was always there, but meditation brushes away the detritus of thoughts and expectations so you can feel it again). Don’t focus on your dilemma while you meditate. Put a pin in it. You can even write it down, and then leave it alone while you meditate. After your meditation session, you can pick it up again and see what clarity has come. 

If you aren’t able to quiet down enough during meditation to feel your own heart, there are some other tricks to employ. My favorite is the I Ching. You can buy the book (a few good versions are here and here) or use an online app like this. I don’t know why it works, but it does. You may find that this tool gives expression to the wisdom of your inner self. 

My other favorite method is to use your imagination. If you have two options in front of you, pick one. Decide to do it. Use your imagination to feel into all aspects of that choice: how it would affect your body, your mind, your environment. Notice how you feel. Now shake it off; let it all go; and use your imagination to pick the other option. Go through the same steps. It should be clear to you which one feels right.

Still not clear? Then wait. Maybe it isn’t time to make your decision just yet. Clarity will come.

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Core Practice: Keep Your Mind Quiet

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Our incessant internal dialogue—all of the strategizing, defending, regurgitating and worrying that we do—covers our true nature. When you stop thought, you directly experience that you are made of light, Consciousness, God (you choose your favorite word).

Keeping the mind quiet won’t make you unconscious or an idiot. Rather you become wiser as you begin to see the vast wisdom that is at your core. You’ll find that you begin to understand things without having to think them through and that you have access to greater knowledge that isn’t available to you when your mind is a cyclone of thoughts and concerns.

But keeping your mind quiet is hard to do in our digital, socially-networked world, where we are constantly bombarded with information and never out of reach from…anyone! How do you do it? The answer is simple—you meditate. For instruction on how to meditate, download the free eBook on How to Meditate.

Excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. © 2013 Sara Weston. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

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Core Practice: Meditate daily

MedGalSitting

Meditation calms you down. It chills you out. It makes you sharper and smarter. It can improve your health and make you feel younger. But most importantly, it makes you happy!

When you meditate you go into the light inside of you, the light that makes up everything and everyone. It’s the light of eternity and it’s happiness itself. So when you meditate, you are making yourself more available to the light in your being, which literally makes you happy!

When you meditate you come to have silent knowledge about the universe that makes some of the seemingly harsh and random events of life more understandable. You come to see that you are not just your body and your mind, but that there is a part of you that lives beyond the death of the body. You see that who you truly are is eternal.

This might sound simplistic or fantastical, so you have to check it out for yourself to see that it is true. In fact, one of the reasons I like the practice of meditation is that it’s not about blindly believing what someone preaches to you, but rather finding out for yourself what is true.

For meditation instruction, download the free eBook on How to Meditate.

© 2013 Sara Weston. Excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

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Core Practice: Love a lot and laugh a lot

MedGalReading2When we love, light comes through our being and brightens us, lightens us and makes us feel happy. The love you express doesn’t have to be towards another person, it can be towards a great number of things—pets, plants, your artwork, sports, challenging experiences. In fact, love has very little to do with a person. It comes from us and it grows the more we love. We are happy when we love. We are unhappy when we stop loving.

Similarly, when we laugh, we relax and light flows through us more easily. It brightens us and makes us feel happy. Laughter and lightheartedness are great balms for our body, mind and soul. When we laugh a lot we are happier people. (It should be pointed out however that laughing at others, their misfortunes, sorrow or pain, will in no way make you happy. This lack of compassion actually decreases the amount of light flowing through you.)

© 2013-22 Sara Weston. Sara is the author of How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

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Core Practice: Choose to Be Happy

MedGalReading2

It’s a personal choice to be happy. Everyone has a high, happy side and a low, bored, angry or depressed side, and which side you live in is determined by the choices you make. The choices that lead to happiness are the ones that challenge us, awaken us, and keep us balanced—they are the choices to meditate and work-out when you’d rather watch TV; to be mindful when you’d rather obsess on something negative; to work on your career when it seems easier to just hang out where you are; and, also the choice to relax and unwind when you know you need that, but want to stay plugged in.

The choices that lead to happiness are the ones that take care of the things that are your responsibility—and just as important, the choices to not take on things that are not your responsibility. On a daily basis, we are presented with numerous choices, both simple and complex, that lead us to either more happiness or less. When you become the person who makes the higher choice by default, you will absolutely feel happier. The good news is that meditation increases your powers of discrimination and will, so it’s easier to both discern the higher choice and follow it.

True happiness isn’t about everything working out your way. It’s really about being in touch with your inner light.

Of course, many of the physical circumstances of our lives are beyond our control, but even in these situations there is a choice to be happy. When you get caught in a major traffic delay, you can bemoan your fate which magnifies the misery of the situation, or you can keep on hand great audio books, podcasts and music to entertain yourself while you are trapped in your car. In more dire situations, like finding out your partner cheated on you or that you have been diagnosed with cancer, there is still an opportunity to be happy. Stick with me for a moment on this one. Sometimes the most painful situations in life can act as a catalyst to finally get us to really stop thought, go into our inner light and experience that we are not who we think we are—to see that we’re made of light and are eternal. This is the happiest of all experiences. When everything is going our way, we tend to not be very introspective. But in truly unpleasant times, in our disillusionment with how we thought our life would go, there is an opening to experience something deeper. So even amidst the crappiest situation, there is a choice to indulge in the difficulties of your life or an option to go deeper into the quiet and deeper into your soul where true happiness resides. True happiness isn’t about everything working out your way. It’s really about being in touch with your inner light.

© 2013-2022 Sara Weston. Excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

 

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Core Practice: Be Honest With Yourself

Additional Tips2Honesty with yourself is essential to being happy. You have to check that what you are doing in your life is working for you. Sometimes we have such a strong idea of how our life should be and what will make us happy, that we don’t want to face that these ideas aren’t right for us anymore. We may have grown out of them or they may have never been our ideas and dreams in the first place, but instead were imposed by family or society and accepted by us as ours. Other times we have invested so much time and energy to get our life to where it is, that we don’t want to face the fact that it is no longer working. When we honestly recognize that something is no longer working, then from this place of recognition we can begin to change it.

Being honest about what is working applies to all aspects of your life, big and small—whether it’s recognizing that you’re bored with your job and you need to mix it up, or that constantly checking your phone diffuses your focus and you need to dial it down. When you change what is not working in your life, despite past ideas of what you think will make you happy, you will be a happier person.

Note that you don’t have to necessarily share or discuss your internal honesty with others. In fact, if we had to share all our internal insights with others, we’d never be completely honest with ourselves! What matters most is that you are simply honest with yourself.

© 2013-2022 Sara Weston. Excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

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Core Practice: Exercise daily

MedGalWalking

Everyone knows that exercise helps the physical body, but it also really helps clear out our non-physical energy body. In the course of our daily lives we pick up all kinds of stuff—stress from work, tiredness from dealing with family or friends who are having a hard time, stress from relationship, financial woes or simply having too much to do. Exercise helps blow out this buildup, so it makes us feel much happier. If you think of your aura as acting like a sponge that absorbs the feelings and thoughts of those you interact with, exercise is like rinsing and squeezing out that sponge. Women in particular benefit from daily exercise because they pick up even more auric garbage than men.

The type of exercise regimen you follow depends on your level of fitness and your demeanor. What’s important is to find a type of exercise that you enjoy so it’s not something you dread doing. It helps to alternate what exercise you do so you don’t get bored, and for those who are on stationary equipment like an elliptic trainer or treadmill, it’s great to watch TV shows or movies. If you haven’t exercised in a while, it’s a good idea to consult your doctor before you start up again. She can advise you on a good regimen for your age and fitness level.

© 2013-2022 Sara Weston. Excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on Amazon.com or Amazon UK,  CA, FR , IT, ES and DE. A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

Download the How to Be Happy NOW app

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