Use jealousy to show yourself what you should be working on

RobinJealousy has nothing to do with the person you are jealous of. When you feel jealous of someone, the feeling is really pointing to the fact that it’s time for you to work for the thing you’re jealous of. For instance, if a friend tells you about a jump she made in her career and you feel a twinge of jealousy, it means you need to make a jump in your career or in your life. It doesn’t mean that you need to make the same kind of jump, but rather that you need to look at whether you’re being too complacent in your life and whether it is time to step it up by taking new classes, getting a new certification, writing a book, etc.

Now don’t confuse jealousy with the feeling you have when people try to make you envious of them by broadcasting how fabulous their lives are. Anyone who is trying to win the envy of others is usually quite insecure and is doing it to squash a feeling of inadequacy they have. People who are rich, beautiful or smart that are confident, don’t try to make you envious of them. The best response to someone who is trying to do this is to not react at all, but if you need to react than you can feel compassion for their insecurity.

Excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on AmazonAmazon UK and Amazon DE. © 2013 – 2014 Sara Weston.  A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

Happiness Tip: Take a hike

TakeAHikeGet out in nature, away from people, at least once a month, as this will slow down the activity of the mind and clear you out. You’ll feel better and be able to see things about your life more clearly.

Similarly, get out of town for a few nights every few months or so. Everything will be brighter and clearer when you return home. Many times, the solution to a problem will become clear and sometimes a problem will cease to even exist because it no longer feels like a problem.

Excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on AmazonAmazon UK and Amazon DE. © 2013 – 2014 Sara Weston.  A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

Meditation Tip: It Can All Wait

SittingInChair

When you’re meditating, there is a tendency to let yourself think about the pressing issues in your life (because they’re important!). But the truth is you’ve got the rest of the day to deal with these things. Your meditation is not the time, and in fact, the quieter you are in your meditation, the easier it will be to see how to deal with these issues. So when you find yourself thinking about your problems, just remind yourself that you can think about later—after you’re done meditating.

Click here for a free eBook on how to meditate.

© 2014 Sara Weston. Sara is the author of he book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on AmazonAmazon UK and Amazon DEA FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

You Are Not Your Mind

Your mind is an amazing and essential tool, but it is not who you truly are. All the thoughts and ideas that run through your mind feel very close, like “you,” so it can certainly feel like your mind defines who you are—but if you put your mind on “Pause” for a moment and stop your thoughts, you will find that there is still a presence there. You find that you are still there even when your mind is not thinking.

What is that presence that is still there when the mind is silent? I can tell you that it is your true self, the light and consciousness that make up everything and everyone. But it’s not very transformative to read that. What’s powerful is to experience that eternality for yourself! What’s transformative is to start meditating and slowing down the mind so you can find out for yourself that who you truly are is beyond the mind and the body, is eternal and is good. If you need meditation instruction, check out the free eBook on How to Meditate.

© 2014 Sara Weston. Sara is the author of he book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on AmazonAmazon UK and Amazon DEA FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

Be Empirical About Your Energy and Moods

yellow flwr-polaNotice which people, situations or activities energize or drain you. Notice how you feel before interactions and then how you feel afterwards. Take note of the patterns so you can become consciously aware of the situations and activities that give you energy or that drain you. By being truly aware of what is draining and what is empowering, we can make better decisions about how and where we spend our time.

Tip excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on AmazonAmazon UK and Amazon DE. © 2013 – 2014 Sara Weston.  A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

Stop Caring What Other People Think of You

MedGalWalkingPeople perceiving you as rich, beautiful, lucky, tough or smart will not make you happy, yet you wouldn’t know this if you observed how much time and energy people spend trying to get other people to think they are those things. If people think you have got it made, it won’t make you happy. Just look at celebrities—many people admire them and think they have it made, but clearly it doesn’t make them happy. In fact, given the number of divorces and trips to rehab, you could posit they are one of the least happy segments of the population. So stop being concerned with what other people think of you, it’s a waste of your energy and keeps you from having a quiet mind.

Tip excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on AmazonAmazon UK and Amazon DE. © 2013 – 2014 Sara Weston.  A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.

Be A Beginner

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When you have the state of mind of a beginner, you allow yourself to try new things and are open to new ideas, which is energizing and fun. When you are a beginner, you’re not afraid to try something just because you won’t be good at it or because it’s “not you.” You can have a great time at something and do it without the intent of becoming an expert. Who doesn’t love and admire the eighty-one-year-old woman who is picking up the piano for the first time or the fifty-year-old who is just learning to surf, both of whom are unlikely to become experts in these fields.

When you have the mind state of an expert and are heavy with success, you’re more likely to stay in your comfort zone and limit your experiences to those in which you can excel, and obviously that is not a fun way to live. And even in the fields in which you are truly an expert, it’s always great to not know it all. In being open we create room to learn new things and refine and improve our knowledge and skills.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, life is simply harder when you approach it as a know-it-all. When we think back on times when we “knew it all,” we invariably created more work for ourselves. I recall a time at one of my first jobs, the sous-chef saw me laboriously chopping an onion and said, “Hey, let me show you a great way to quickly dice an onion.” I replied, “I already know how” and summarily cut off the opportunity to learn how to do something in a more efficient way. At some point, I did learn the professional way to dice an onion and was amazed at what an idiot I had been. In “knowing it all,” I looked like an idiot to my coworkers by clinging to an inefficient way, but more importantly, I kept myself from learning a much better way of doing something. I’m grateful I had this experience so I could learn firsthand the beauty of being a beginner!

(Slightly amusing aside: after the book was published with this entry, several people asked me how to cut an onion.)

Tip excerpted from the book How to Be Happy NOW…Even if Things Aren’t Going Your Way, available on AmazonAmazon UK and Amazon DE. © 2013 – 2014 Sara Weston.  A FREE excerpt of the book is available here.